蜘蛛夫人：超感觉醒

Personally I LOV3 cringe — I l0v3 supporting cringe, I am cringe, I can’t get enough of cringe. It’s just my k1nd 0f thing, I want to financially support cringe, and I want to see more cringe in the world. This movie? It cringes.

I am gonna explain it in every way, inside and out from this movie

Behind The Film

So, there’s a trailer feature with long sentence showing the antagonist was in the Amazon with Dakota’s mum when she was researching spiders right before she died.

The trailer turned into a meme just like Morbius, because no one ever put that much of exposition dump — i mean, the one that decided to put the whole 5 minutes of movie into the trailer is kind of genius. Great meme generator.

And… in an interview with Huff Post, when asking the trailer turned into a great meme. The Lead, Dakota Johnson, seriosuly asked “Why did that go viral?”. She’s so pure, so true like she have no idea what’s Morbius meme is about. She is so cute, I like that.

The interview did try to answer her question of “Why did that go viral” tho — “I think it went viral because … (a pause of few sec) out of context, just like — what does this mean?

And then Datoka thought it’s another question to her and then put a serious (again) answer — “He was in the Amazon researching spiders … with my mum … before she died.” (Yeah. — the interviewer) “That seems like a basic storyline to … me.” said Datoka.

It’s cute to do it once, Datoka.

The Film

The Film is way more deserving of its funny bad movie status than Morbius. For Morbius, those memes were funnier than movie, whereas this film it is actually very very very funny.

First off, every single one’s performance is just … unintentional funny. There’s a line where Madame Web says “It’s gonna be a litttle Crazy!” to which one of girls responds “It’s already CRAZZZZY!”

However, personally I believe if you’re saying the phrase “it’s already crazy”, you should emphasize the term “Already” instead — like “It’s AAAALREAY CRAZY!”.

It’s just fascinating that the director managed to get every actor working at their absolute worst. SNL needs her, that’s for sure.

And there’s the song that the girls get it on in the restaurant. “Toxic” by Britney Spears. I knew the timeline was 2003 but that “Toxic” is just so cringe so toxic. You don’t talk about 郭敬明 in today’s movie that illustrates a 2013 world. You just don’t do it because no one wants to rewind it. (and ashamed by it)

And I knew it’s Dreams by The Cranberries once the credit rolls. It could be the song to the end credit of a film about your entire life, but not Madame Web. Still, i can see Madame Web could be a timeless master屁屎 which potentially as memorable as The Cranberries’ Dreams.